Partner Education

Congratulations on the new addition to your family! You have done an outstanding job supporting your partner throughout the birthing process. During this challenging and stressful time, it's important to acknowledge that your partner may find it difficult to express their appreciation for your support. Your assistance is extremely valuable and necessary for your partner's proper recovery. It is recommended that she rest in bed for at least two weeks to aid in her healing process. While it's important to encourage this rest, it's crucial not to demand it. Although your partner may be excited to introduce the new child to others, it's essential to prioritize her needs over catering to visitors. Minimal movement is advised to promote her healing.

Please remember not to underestimate the significance of your own physical and mental well-being during this demanding period. Many partners of individuals recovering from tearing injuries often feel excluded from important decisions and uninformed about the ongoing situation. While time constraints in the delivery room may contribute to this, it is perfectly acceptable for you to request updates and information. In the first few days after delivery, your partner may be too overwhelmed to absorb information provided by healthcare professionals. Thus, it would be helpful for you to gather and retain the necessary information on her behalf. Don't hesitate to ask questions, take notes, and follow up with doctors who can provide the support your partner needs. It might be beneficial to take additional time off work to offer her the utmost support she requires and is comfortable with. During this challenging time, she may need to discuss topics that were previously considered taboo, such as bowel movements or vaginal issues. Encourage her to open up and feel comfortable sharing, as having someone to confide in is crucial during this difficult period.

Stay attentive to any indications your partner gives that her health may be deteriorating, and encourage her to seek assistance even if it seems insignificant. Putting in the effort now will yield great rewards in the future. It's important to note that penetrative sex is typically off-limits for an extended period, often around six months or more. However, this doesn't mean your sexual satisfaction is limited, and your partner may welcome alternative activities that can bring satisfaction to both of you. Openly discuss your desires and be receptive to one another's needs. Silence won't be beneficial, nor will pressuring her for penetrative sex. Keep in mind that her body has undergone changes, and both of you will need to adapt. Finally, it's essential to acknowledge the trauma of the delivery day for both you and your partner. Take the time to discuss your feelings and experiences, as it will contribute to the healing process for both of you.

If you feel that you need additional support, please join us for our mother and primary support person support groups. You can find out more about these groups under our support section. Also, Postpartum Support International has additional resources for fathers such as: chats with an expert, peer mentoring programs, help finding local support groups, online support groups, closed facebook groups.